Speech! Speech! Speech!

It's been more than one week already since my very good friend Mark got married. Out of all my friends, I didn't think he would be the first to tie the knot - but Lord Snoek (as he is referred to) surprised us all! I am very happy for Mark and Caitlin, and I have no doubt that they are meant to be together.

It's quite intimidating to think about how much work/effort/money etc. goes into a wedding. All those months of planning and preparation for the big day...and when the big day arrives all you can do is hope that everything works out. I can honestly say everything worked out perfectly for Mark and Caitlin's wedding.

Mark and myself were both a bit nervous leading up to the reception where we would have to deliver our speeches to the guests - but I am pleased to say the speeches went well. I was Mark's Best Man - from what I have heard the Best Man speech is traditionally meant to be entertaining...I'll be honest with you, this suited me just fine as I could let my creative side out when writing the speech! I ended up with a speech that poked (light-hearted) fun at Mark, but was also sincere when it needed to be. I practiced the speech in my lounge every day for almost two weeks...as you can imagine, by the day of the wedding I knew it very well. Luckily, the hard work paid off because everyone at the wedding enjoyed it! Mission accomplished.

I have decided to immortalise my Best Man speech as a blog post (below). I hope you enjoy!

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Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen!

As you are all probably wondering who I am, let me start by introducing myself. If you had met me any other day, I would've introduced myself to you as Richard, however on this day I will introduce myself as "Best Man". It pleases me to know that after all these years Mark has finally publically admitted who the best is...

Now that the introduction is out of the way, I have to let you all know that the Mount Nelson staff asked me to inform all of you not to make too much noise during my standing ovation at the end of this speech.

Sometime last year Mark asked me to be his best man and I will admit at first I was thrilled. Then as the days grew closer to the big day, I realised that as his best man I have several responsibilities - organising a bachelor party, ensuring he got here on time today, even making sure he got dressed properly today! As you can see, he is dressed very smartly indeed - a rare occurrence.  

I want to take you back to the year 2000... As you will all recall, the year 2000 was a big year, "The Millenium Bug" as it was called, threatened to derail technology as we knew it! How would businesses operate when their servers, PC's etc were expected to figuratively bomb out from the so-called "Bug"? Being a school pupil at the time, if his PC wasnt working, that would mean Mark would actually have to do his homework for a change and stop playing Solitaire! Looking back now, the year 2000 had a different meaning for me...it was the year that I met my best friend. The earliest memory I have of Mark and myself is we were both early for a Geography class one day and were waiting outside for the teacher to arrive. We both have the same sense of humour so what started as a brief chat before class pretty quickly turned into Mark and myself cracking jokes at the expense of a fellow classmate/friend of ours, btw the jokes directed at that individual still go on today! Mark and I clicked instantly and have been good friends ever since. 

After high school, Mark would go on to study IT at CPUT. He would then pursue a career in Database Programming which means he is behind a computer screen staring at code all day. So, how on earth did he meet Caitlin? Back in 2004, Mark, myself and a couple other friends would travel through to the Northern Suburbs on Friday evenings to attend a youth group. This is where Mark and Caitlin met for the first time.

I spoke to Mark recently and asked him to describe Caitlin in a few words. His reply was - "Like myself, Caitlin is rather unique...we are very much alike. She is very caring and understanding. She always thinks of others first.". Mark, if I could add to the qualities you mentioned about Caitlin...you have found someone who is responsible, mature, fun...and not only that, but she is a qualified personal trainer - so she is going to whip you into shape! Caitlin, I would list some of Mark's good qualities for you, but we would end up being here all afternoon trying to figure them out!

Caitlin, you look absolutely beautiful, we have gotten to know each other fairly well over the last few years and I know that you are the right woman for Mark - together, you balance each other out.
A few weeks ago I noticed that Caitlin replied to someone that commented on her Facebook status. In her reply she mentioned that she is "...marrying my dream man"...however, she didn't specify whether this dream man was from a good dream...bad dream...or a nightmare...  

There are many sides to Mark. Earlier I told you all about Mark's sense of humour, but he can be serious too if he needs to be. However, I had no idea that he had a romantic side! I can see the disbelieving looks on some of your faces, but please hear me out! Caitlin is Mark's perfect woman and she should be proposed to in a special way and Mark did not disappoint - On 1 July 2011, he took Caitlin on a drive to all the places that meant something to them. The last stop for the evening was Fish Hoek beach, this is where Mark officialy asked Caitlin out several years ago, and it would be the same place where he would propose to her. Very romantic!

I am not a married man myself, but I thought it would be a good idea to give Mark some good pointers regarding marriage. After some thorough research, the most helpful pointers were the following:
1.) Getting into an argument with a woman is like being arrested. Anything you say, can and will be used against you.
2.) The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.
3.) If you ever get asked "Do I look fat in this?"...The best advice I can give you is...run.

To Caitlin, instead of marriage advice, I have to decided to give you a warning regarding Mark:
1.) If he offers to cook a meal for you, politely decline as cooking is certainly not one of his strong points. Remember the raw hamburgers he braai'd recently...?

That brings me to the end of my speech. Jokes aside, I just want to say that it has been an honour being Mark's best man here today. You are all probably tired of hearing me talk but before I head back to my seat, could you all please stand and raise your glass for a couple toasts...

To Keryn - Caitlin's bridesmaid - looks stunning and has done her job exceptionally well...she has managed to keep Caitlin calm on what can potentially be a very stressful day!

And to the newlywed couple - Congratulations on your marriage and may you have many happy years together! To Mark and Caitlin!

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The five types of Facebook friend requests

It seems like most people these days have a Facebook account. You can search for pretty much anyone from your past/present (or future if you are planning on doing some serious stalking) and chances are that you will find their profile. Quite scary, yet cool!

It's also cool when you login to Facebook and you notice at the top of your screen that you have a friend request. Curiosity and a bit of excitement overcome you as you think to yourself, "Hmmm, who might this be? Which person is requesting to be my friend and should I give them this honour?". You click on the friend request icon/link and you see one of the following:

1.) A friend from the present
"Oh cool, Ryan sent me a friend request!"
When you first sign up to Facebook you will get a lot of these - they are great. You know the person and you most likely see them fairly regularly. This is a friend request that you are probably expecting.

2.) A friend from the past
"Merle sent me a friend request, I remember her from Primary School!"
These requests are also quite exciting, after all, this is someone you know from your younger days. Maybe someone from Primary School or a next door neighbour in your old neighbourhood. The problem with these friend requests is that most of these people you haven't seen in a very long time and chances are that you will never see them again, let alone write on their Wall.

3.) A random person that you met through a friend
"Who is this? Oh, it's that random dude that is friends with Merle."
I always take a minute to think about these requests. I met this person once, we maybe chatted briefly and now they want to be Facebook friends?! Unless you really liked the person for whatever reason, I would suggest declining the request because you will probably never speak to them!

4.) An even more random person
"Ummm..."
This is someone that you don't know at all, you maybe see them regularly somewhere but you don't talk to each other. An example: I got one of these friend requests from someone at the gym recently - very weird!

Lastly,

5.) "Cool" kid from school who never said a word to you
"You cannot be serious..."
The most confusing one of the lot in my opinion! If they never bothered to say a word to you at school (some never even made eye contact!), then why would they want to be friends all of a sudden? Is it a case of "You weren't cool at school, but you're alright now"? Decline!

Obviously there are a lot more different types of Facebook friend requests, but these are the ones that came to mind straight away.

Conclusion:

As a general rule, if you wouldn't speak to the person in real life then don't accept the friend request. This rule can also be applied if you are planning on requesting someone as a friend!

See you on the 'Book...

Square eyes...

I realised something a while back. For an extended amount of time everyday, I am staring at a screen. When I say “extended amount of time” I am referring to most of the day and when I say “everyday” I mean EVERYDAY! This might not sound like a big deal to most but the more I think about it, it’s actually quite shocking.

When I was younger I remember I had a comic book and inside the comic book was an advert for some 8bit Nintendo video game. Can’t remember now which game it was, but the theme of the advert was that you will be playing this game so much that you will get square eyes. I was young at the time and couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it meant. My parents told me to watch out because if I played too many games for too long then I would get these “square eyes” that the advert mentioned! I would still enjoy playing games but I would try and not play for too long…I didn’t want my eyes to go square!

Back to the present day…

I work in the IT field which means all day I am pretty much looking at some kind of screen. I wake up in the morning, get showered, have breakfast and then I’m off to work where I stare at a HP notebook screen for the day. When I’m away from my desk I find myself looking at my Blackberry screen for whatever reason. I can already feel my eyes are changing shape…

When work ends for the day, I am away from a screen for maybe 1-2 hours. During this time span, the usual routine is to make and eat supper and then go to the gym (sometimes it’s gym and then supper, depends).

Post gym, I will usually make my way to the lounge where I will watch TV on a big HDTV screen for a couple hours. Oh, and did I forget to mention I am usually armed with either my tablet or the previously mentioned notebook! Bring on the square eyes again…

The point I am trying to make here is that wherever we look, there is some kind of screen for us to look at and marvel over. These days you can do pretty much everything with a cellphone, tablet etc…heck, some of the new HDTV’s even allow you to surf the web! I don’t even want to get started on 3D TV!

It makes me think back to that advert in the comic book. I now truly understand what they meant when they mentioned square eyes…

I am going to challenge myself once in a while and try to stay away from a screen for a day if possible. It can’t be too difficult to achieve, there is a big beautiful world out there full of things to see…without making your eyes change shape.